*Ding DOng* Its meeeeeeeeeeee! yes, it me your favorite Mahogany. I have been MIA, school has been kicking me in the a**. But, you should already know I'm back with tons of stories. (but just a few that's appropriate to share) JK! Any who guys, I've been so under the weather lately! I don't know if it's because I've been suffering from the cold winds that surpass my bed and nobody to keep me warm, or the Ghost of the past taunting me, or that I've fell so far away from something that I stand so far from; CHRIST. I think its all of the above ! I have this big ol BED. Got these big ol pillows. But got this big ol EMPTY SPACE next to me *sigh*. Its tough but it's all good. If you don't learn to be by yourself, physically and mentally, you'll be too dependant on a man and will spend more times by yourself than with yourself. This time that I have as a single individual, I should be using this time to analyze what went wrong in my previous relationships, what I did to contribute to the break up, how to better myself and how to become closer to Christ. I behaved like a bad girl this summer and did all my fun, now its time to simmer down. But oooooh chile, let me tell you about this Ghost in the past that's haunting me. Now note I said Ghost. This person isn't dead but this person is officially dead to me the day he did me so wrong. He has no significant meaning to me. For y'all who think I'm being bitter, screw y'all but this is my mental mechanism of controlling my sanity. OK, so back on track! We never came to a mutual understanding why we fell off. Pretty much we both KOBATA'd so if you ask me idk *shrugs* Any who, its messing with my MENTAL. Not because I want him back ( I refuse to be with such human that treats women how he does) but I just have so many unanswered questions and things I would like to tell him. Im pretty sure he is aware how he's screwed me over in so many ways, and did wrong but, the suspense of not knowing these answers kill me. Now more reason of why he is a Ghost because he keeps re-appearing. In my dreams, twitter, my phone, facebook. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. To sum it all up, I still love him. I wish he was the man he was when I first met him but fortunately he showed me his true colors. My heart wishes I could bring this man back to life, but my mind wishes "May his soul rest in peace" because he's DEAD to me.
