All types of confused..

Long time, no write...
This past weekend was too ugly! So, on Friday Swagnation did some partying it swagged out. I saw Guy #1, I haven't seen him in so long and I didn't realize how much I missed him till I saw him. As soon as I walked in the club he saw me. "I'm not your friend so stop looking at me." We talked small small, danced small small. I keep telling myself I cant like him, c'mon now who wants to be "in like" with a womanizer...but in his words "I'm chillin.." righttt. Ive always told myself I will NEVER move backewards but somehow I always manage to. So, Saturday comes around and I was too bored with myself...and I did the ugliest thing possible I called one of my exs, okay let me fill you in on him. He's still in love with me..why? I have no idea, this guy would do anything for me. I don't see how you can still have feelings for someone for so long. Anyways, he comes over my house and we were just talking and next thing you know we were kissing, how this managed to happen..i don't know. Before, anything else could happen I kicked him out of my house...I know that was wrong but oh well. The worst part is I don't even like him, and I feel bad for leading him on...but he'll be aight. Later on that night we went partying and of course I saw Guy #1 again...while we were there I didn't really talk to him much I gave him a hug and a hi and kept it moving. After the party was over everyone was chillin outside and as soon as I started to walk to the car he calls me over to talk to him...so we're talking and he's asking me when we're going to have "us" time. Seriously? Every time he tells me things like this I always think "So who's the next person you're going to say this to?!" Conversation ends and as I start to walk away he pulls me back and kisses me. Instead of me being happy I was actually upset, and I don't even know why. I get home, and at 4:44 am I get a text from him "Wish you would of came over tonight.." smh this nigga...-___- we had a slight conversation. Later on that day he texts me again just to "check up on me" since when do you do that? At this point I'm in shock hes not much of a talker or texter. Then he goes on to tell me that I didn't pay him any attention this weekend. I barely do, I'm surprised he even said that...why does he even care?! I know all he wants is SEX. Or am I wrong? I honestly don't know what he wants from me...even if I ask him I know for a fact he wont tell me the truth, or I just wouldnt like the answer. I'm not going to see him until next month so until then, I guess ill just be confused...

This is Sapphire swagging out...